Complete Baloney

NBC olympics commentary - Abysmal

2008-08-25T15:14:00.002-04:00

Arrogance is America's No. 1 disease, its most plentiful natural resource. No American industry is more arrogant than the media, particularly the television wing of the media. Cursed with good looks, the ability to enunciate most words and access to the best parties and sociably acceptable drugs, TV people really believe they're smarter than everyone else and essential to maintaining the myth of a true democracy.

I do not care about the stupid BS stories and going on and on and on about the Americans during everyone else's competition. I'm so sick of the blah blah Michael Phelps blah blah Michael Phelps! crap...and then that annoying woman at the gymnastics commentary who told 3967037509357 times that the gymnasts have to STICK TO THAT LANDING!!!

I'm already tired of the blond NBC interviewer asking the swimmers "What did it take to _____?" What can you possibly say to stupid questions like that? They practiced, they qualified, they swam.The commentary has been abysmal and that woman at the womans diving event has this grating voice who talks as if she owned each athelete a gold medal. What is wrong with being a little ignorant at the amount of toe pointing in men's diving? Is it not enough that these athletes are jumping off a 33 foot high non-movable board and twisting and spinning in the air, but the lady that is commenting can only say, "Not enough toe pointing for me."? What is that?.

The track and field events commentators were the worst of the lot with questions like Tell me, what were your emotions when you fell." or "Why did you lose?. I wish these guys were interviewing the boxers instead.

They made a big fuss about the bronze medalist in the 1500 m swim event and mentioned that it was the first time in 80 years that canada has won a medal in the event. the gold medalist a tunisian, is the first instance of a tunisian winning any swimming medal. go figure!

This is probably one of my theories that pop up when I am too frustrated, but I usually think that's because NBC operates in a world where "sports fans" = "people who watch and know and only care about American football/baseball/basketball and sometimes hockey". Therefore, all their references and attempts to explain sports are in references to the "big three" and hockey-if-they're-in-a-good-mood. So when it comes to the "every four year" sports like swimming, gymnastics, track and field, and the others, they have no idea what to do or how to present it. They feel like they will never keep an audience if they just show the sport, because in their world, what "sports fans" will want to watch a bunch of people swimming laps really, really fast? Or a bunch of people run around a track a few times? Throw a stick really far? Or do acrobatics? No, it must be turned into human interest stories to attract the women (they've given up long ago on the idea that big butch men who like football could ever appreciate a sport like swimming, despite the fact that Michael Phelps could bench press these guys with one arm), and women will never ever watch sport events like the Big Three and sometimes hockey. Because it's common knowledge that women are not sport fans, despite all evidence to the contrary.

5 Super Heroes We Can't Live Without

2008-07-12T14:31:00.001-04:00

For every lame super hero that we've quickly forgotten over the years, the bad-ass favorites have filled the void with their larger than life abilities. Since super heroes became popular way back in the early decades of 20th century, few have stood the test of time to be considered necessary heroes. Since the super hero universe is becoming an expanding sea of super goodness, with new heroes cropping up all over the place, there are only a select few the world can't live without.

From purely a character standpoint, the super hero world, and metaphoric real world, is a much better place with certain heroes defending the planet. Here's a look at 5 Super Heroes We Can't Live Without:

Witchblade (the many women of)

Although you hear a lot more about other female super heroes, it’s hard to argue that the one in possession of the Witchblade might be the most important of them all, especially if you look back through history. Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, Florence Nightingale, Queen Isabella, even Wonder Woman, were all possessors of the Witchblade, which proves that the world can’t live without it and its hosts. For any hero who has worn the ancient artifact/weapon, the Witchblade is like a Swiss Army Knife of gauntlet gear you’d find at Tiffany’s. Not only is it intelligent armor that can produce a multitude of necessary weapons, its female host/hero can create any weapon needed for battle, bring the dead back to life, heal wounds, and experience the lives of its past possessors. As far as females super heroes go, whoever is possessing Witchblade is everything we need to keep the world safe, and then some.

Spider-Man

Would the mild-mannered Peter Parker be as cool without his Spidey persona? Maybe, maybe not, but that’s what makes him so cool. The fact a lonely, inadequate, under-the-radar geek can go on to become one of the greatest heroes the world has ever seen lends even more credibility to his "amazing" tag. Spidey proved that all unpopular high school computer nerds have their own unique special powers similar to Peter Parker. Although Spider-Man’s super-strength and spider-esque powers made him extraordinary to the average world, he’s a hero who’s also had to rely on his own wits and resourcefulness to enhance his abilities. In that regard, Spider-Man serves as an inspiration to all lonely geeks (and the geek within all of us) with the message that having a super power is equally about finding your own abilities to enhance your identity. With power comes great responsibility, no matter what special ability you possess. We have Spider-Man to thank for that.

Iron Man

Okay, here’s where the list gets a little weird. If this was 2003 instead of 2008, we doubt Iron Man would be making many "can’t live without" lists. Can the world live without Iron Man? Maybe. But since Tony Stark made such a huge debut this year on the big screen, it’s obvious the present world can’t live without Iron Man... and won’t be for at least a few years and another movie or two. So, to even suggest that the world could live without Iron Man when industrialist billionaire Tony Stark is among the new and elite generation of cinematic super heroes would be insanely contradictory to the newly created public demand that resurrected the hero from obscurity. No matter how you look at it though, Jon Favreau and Robert Downey Jr. made Tony Stark and his Iron Man alter ego even cooler than he was in the Marvel panels.

Batman

Perhaps the more important question might be... Do we want to live without Batman? It’s obvious that Batman’s popularity in the comic book world is clearly defined and established, and has been since his debut in 1939. Batman gained even more popularity as a hero during his stint on TV back in the ‘60s when Adam West took on the live-action persona of the caped crusader and then went on to even bigger reinvented heights when he received an edgy comic book makeover in Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns in the ‘80s. After the huge success of Tim Burton’s big screen Batman in 1989, Bruce Wayne ran out of cinematic gas after the 1997 film Batman & Robin over exposed Batman and killed any interest in the hero as a feature film super hero. Living on in the comics and in animated form after the live action movies, Batman was resurrected in 2005 by director Christopher Nolan for Batman Begins, which only reinforced his popularity as a timeless hero. Now with Nolan’s The Dark Knight about to explode into theaters, as the most anticipated movie of the year, it’s obvious the world can’t live without Batman.

Superman

Although the question of Superman being the most popular super hero of all time seems to divide comic book fans like a hot knife through butter, Superman has endured all of the criticism. No matter how you look at him, Superman is the most iconic super hero of all time. He’s transcended the comic book pages to become part of our pop-culture fabric. Superman ranks up there with Elvis, The Beatles, Campbell’s Soup, the Atari 2600, the iPhone... you name it. He’s a Norman Rockwell type super hero. Despite becoming somewhat of a walking (or flying) cliché over the years, Superman still stands for all that is good and wholesome in the world, even if the world has changed around him. We can’t think of any other super hero who has had more of an impact on the world over eight generations than Superman. Is he the coolest super hero? To some fans, he is. Is he the most powerful? Not anymore, that’s for sure. Can the world live without him? Absolutely not. Besides, DC tried to kill him off in the 1990s and the entire industry is now finally getting back on its feet.

Bitching About Bangalore /10 Things I hate about Bangalore / NRIs returning to Bangalore - Renamed

2008-06-19T16:09:00.000-04:00

In case you are carried away by the hype - here are some myth breakers.

Time to travel from your house to your neighbor's house. (a) 2 Wheeler - 4 years (b)4 Wheelers 700 Years (c) Big 4 wheelers - 3752 Years (d) If you plan to park - Impossible
There are no roads in Bangalore. Vehicles travel in the gaps between houses. They fondly remember it as roads even though there is no trace of tar on them.
While they claim to speak Hindi and speak something they think is Hindi - its not Hindi. Unless the scale of reference is Madras - Bangalore has no hindi speaking population. Yes! there are many north Indians who have settled down in Bangalore but they dont own shops, drive autos or work in Govt buildings.
Tamil isnt spoken in Bangalore either.
Did I say they dont have any roads in Bangalore?
Commercial establishments are open 4 hours a day. They also break for lunch for 4 hours.
Houses in Bangalore have the shitting pot in the center of the bathroom. You have to cross it to get the the bath area and when you come back out of the bathroom you have to cross it again.
Autos cheat in Bangalore.
Dont yell at other vehicles on the road if they violate road rules (which is extremely rampant in Bangalore). Its not Madras where they listen to you yelling 'idiot' and continue diving like a domesticated cows. Auto drivers in Bangalore are just looking for an excuse to pick up a fight.
It is the only place in the world where people drive 2-wheelers on pavements. I swear I have never seen anything as uncivilized as this. These people are the so-called software engineers, who are stupid and uncivilized.

In short living in Bangalore is like living in a foreign country, with strange language and stange habits, but with horrible living standards. If you cant live in your home town there is no point returning.

Looking Within

2008-06-16T13:20:00.001-04:00

As for me, I grew up in an atmosphere that allowed me to question dogma in all forms. A transition from an absolute belief in God, and the sanctity of religion to the all-encompassing warmth of spirituality marked the initial phase of youth’s quest for immortality. The final shift to atheism was not out of choice; I believe it sprang out of a greater and wider understanding. Never having succumbed to any kind of conditioning, my mind was receptive to a variety of ideas, encompassing various aspects of science and spirituality. This led to a phase of emptiness, for without being aware, the conditioning of society around me had instilled a concrete pillar of faith within my psyche, now crumbled to dust with the awesome might of reason. Haphazard ideas born of delving into nihilistic texts only served to increase the void I now felt within. Overcoming the initial despair of the ideas of being and non-being was possible once again by bringing in rational thought into the process.

I love my thoughts. They are the vehicle that lets me span galaxies in seconds; I can touch infinity, always recoiling in awe and something akin to dread at what I glimpse, I can also believe in spirits of the Earth existing in parallel realities to ours; all this while maintaining a firm atheistic outlook, without finding any conflict in my mind. There’s so much beauty in life, that seeking solace in an afterlife or searching for a repository for our thoughts (I haven’t found the ‘thinker’, so as an imperfect spiritualist, I shall continue with the use of ‘thoughts’ rather than ‘soul’) seems a terrible waste of time. While the limits of our perception most definitely affect our perception of reality, it gives us enough to appreciate beauty in all forms – a smile, the rain, birdsong, and as humans are a subjective lot, in my case some contemporary music as well. We’re equipped beautifully to live, to reason and most importantly, to love.

Souls light

2008-05-18T22:09:00.000-04:00

Billions of minds, aware of the spark of awareness conscious of the veils,

She hasn’t heard the silver tones of seeing everything, yet

With her eyes to the stars, the wind raising her hair in enchanted trails,

She yearns for the magic long denied to her, shackled in chains of sorrow,

Hearing the call of heaven on the wind, through the skies, on to the morrow.

The purple haze deepening to a more somber black, the vault above blurs.

And like beacons on the shore for lost mariners of souls infinity, the stars

Frame the feathery wisps of midnight black that move as if the air

Were ocean currents softly encompassing the strands of hair.

Eyes of shining keenness capturing the beauty of eternity above

Reflecting the quest within, a search for the soul, a search for love

The dark of eternity captured within a mind unaware, yet equally vast.

The chorus of voices reach her ears, flooding her awareness past

Any point of return, she clings on to her faith and finds

The rock of her life, her beliefs, no longer binds

Her to herself, set free to reach beyond the end of the universe,

Or the depths of her soul, both unfathomable, for hers

Is a mind unique, an ocean contending to deal with rigid lands.

Speaking to pebbles with diluted waves, moulding the sands.

Break the Silence

2008-02-24T23:45:00.002-05:00

Move yourself
You always live your life
Never thinking of the future
Prove yourself
You are the move you make
Take your chances win or loser

See yourself
You are the steps you take
You and you - and thats the only way

Shake - shake yourself
Youre every move you make
So the story goes

Owner of a lonely heart
Much better than - a
Owner of a broken heart
Owner of a lonely heart

Say - you dont want to chance it
Youve been hurt so before

Watch it now
The eagle in the sky
How he dancing one and only
You - lose yourself
No not for pitys sake
Theres no real reason to be lonely
Be yourself
Give your free will a chance
Youve got to want to succeed

Owner of a lonely heart
Much better than - a
Owner of a broken heart
Owner of a lonely heart

Owner of a lonely heart

After my own decision
They confused me so - owner of a lonely heart
My love said never question your will at all
In the end youve got to go
Look before you leap - owner of a lonely heart
And dont you hesitate at all - no

Sooner or later each conclusion
Will decide the lonely heart
It will excite it will delight
It will give a better start

Dont deceive your free will at all
Just receive it

What you will

2008-01-11T09:38:00.000-05:00

Oceans heave, lured by the waning orb
That casts evanescent threads on the fleece
Of darkling clouds, gathered above

The woven winds rein the skies,
Weeps sweet tears from heaven’s eyes
Eyes that span dew decked hills

She walks the mist, a vision in white
Her whispers are gentle echoes
that sway ardent winds of harmony
and in the symphony of life
each word is wrapped in rhapsody.

Sometimes when wind blows through trees
I pause to listen and in its passing
I hear the tenderness of her voice
that fills the spectrum of my soul.

She is the chime of warm rain,
the moon that glows through the trees
and within the luster of evening
her aura fills the scene.

I hear the whispers of the wind
see the stars shine in the sky,
but I hold the sunrise in my pocket.

Dance with me within the wind,
then just let me love you.

Id vs Ego vs SuperEgo !

2008-01-03T13:53:00.000-05:00

I sit here in this small room of wonder staring out at the city lights listening to some old 70's rock and count the stars as if they were minutes leading to a new year.

This is going to be one of the longest year i have ever experienced. Far far away from family and friends as an alien worker in a foreign land. Although the title sounds so interesting, its absolutely the opposite. I am struggling for an identity for 4 months now.

I still sit here in this room of wonder trying to analyze and realize the past as i listen to some old 60's rock and roll and count the stars as if they were minutes leading to a new year.

I analyze that we have reached great heights in every thing that we have done. The only problem is that whatever we have done has led to some kind of destruction. Was it that we came to end something that was created? Was it that we were destroying things so that someof us could recreate it in a better and a more secure way? These are just passing thoughts.They pass through your mind and makes you realize that what we have done has only led to a zeppelin of destruction.

By now you might think that I am a humanist, which i am not, nor am i a communist. I wish i was a poltergeist but i am not that too. I am what i think. 'Cogito Ergo Sum' is the motto i live by. The only power that i posses is the power of thought, and that is what drives me on.

I continue to sit here in this room of wonder trying to make sense out of nonsense as I listen to some old 60's rock and roll and count the stars as if they were minutes leading to a new year.

How can we classify people into groups? Everyone thinks differently, everyone has a different point of view. So why do we curtail their freedom by classifying them into certain groups? Is it correct? Is it right? Are we not completely curtailing someones freedom at the very outset? Are we not defining what freedom means for an individual? How can we change the meaning of an universal term like freedom from person to person? A list of questions unanswered is the reply !!

A constant battle between the id, the ego and the superego results in this state of complete confusion that i presently am in. Sometimes i get confused about my very existence. A world split apart by so many divisions of culture, creed, race, religion. A world torn apart by war and infighting. Is this what the creator desired? Did he create destruction so that he can recreate when its all gone? Is it just a way that he has to keep himself occupied? Or is it us the human kind that have manifested this evil nature of destroying? If yes what for?

Contentment is the birthright of all but revoked by most. Maybe that is what is the root cause of all evil. To achieve utopia, contentment should not be a thought, it should be a way of life. I know it is impossible to achieve this with people who have already seen greed and lust and competition. The only way out would be to breed a new generation in a distant land with the concept of contentment as the answer to all evil. I maybe totally wrong, but is there a better way out?

And there it was, the final tolling of the bells !! It had come !! It was there, and someoneone somewhere knew that i was right !!!

WORDS !

2007-12-29T10:12:00.000-05:00

Words are by far the most potent weapon civilization has endowed the human race with. Like all weapons words can be the instrument of creation and destruction. Creation seems to be out of context, but bear with me while I establish this truth. A spoken word can bring into existence something, which is intangible. Hate. Is the word a definition of the emotion or is it a label. The compartmentalization of this panoply of thought, emotion, restricts our spiritual and emotional development. Sure, words inspire, move us to grief, awe, sympathy and even love. But like all other illusory aspects of the universe, words conceal more than they reveal. The ultimate truth is found within our minds. Not thoughts brought about by ruminations, but rather by the lack of thought. And this is the truth. Keats knew what he was talking about with his much plagiarized and oft quoted;

“Beauty is truth, truth beauty,
That is all you know on Earth, and all you need to know”

However, like all the paths to higher stations, there is no shortcut. Through words, we have to reach the Word. I do not refer to the Christian term; this is applicable throughout all religions of the world. Once we understand the beauty of a language, only then can we appreciate the tremendous silence it’s lack creates in ourselves.

Writers know this, and use it well. Sometimes a pause, a break conveys to the audience far more than a detailed description. People who write for the sake of writing are well on the way to achieving a higher level of realization.

Perceptions

2007-12-26T00:56:00.000-05:00

Ever wonder how it is that we are able to comprehend our insignificance in the order of the universe?Our lives, our cultures, our wars, human endeavors, all pale into insignificance when one perceives the absolute enormity, in the four dimensions that we comprehend; of the universe. What does it care of a small planet, when our lives are of no consequence to the progress of time. And on a scale beyond us, a quantum clock ticks, the universe moves in a cycle, ever receding, cooling, a dying universe. A death of such a vast entity is worthy of enormous sorrow.

Space is a cold forlorn place. Stars and Galaxies are threaded rather loosely through the weft of nothingness. What happens when stars die, when galaxies burn out, when the last spark in this universe is extinguished? Is this a death of any meaning? Think on it. Was all this just a whim of a primordial power, a one creator, or is it just quantum physics acting out its course? Let me riddle you with clichés aplenty. The universe was in existence 14 billion years ago. What existed before? Nothing? The answers are locked in our minds. And they will stay locked because the truth is not something we are equipped to deal with.

If the universe were just an experiment or a random coincidental event, does that preclude the possibility of our realm being the only thing ever, or does our sciences and laws apply only to our universe? That there are laws that apply to realms so far beyond us. That our order of thought is limited. If the universe as we know it were just a component of a grander scheme of things, and we were to know that, have we found god? What happens when a mortal passes away? W ell if the spiritualists speak true and the essence of our souls survive, then is that the ultimate knowledge? What good will harboured souls be in a dying universe. If we were to exist beyond death, we will live beyond the stars, where absolutely nothing will have meaning to us. Horizons, receding ever into the infinite. Are they a function of perspective, dimensions or do they parallel singularities. A point where the space-time matrix does not exist as we know it, where all possible quantum laws break down. All the singularities exist at the same time. A black hole near on some far distant galaxy would therefore be the black hole anywhere else. There is no time, space or light in a black hole. Are all these points in the universe the same? Would this fold the fabric of time and space in ways, which are imperceptible to us? Horizons stretch to what apparently is a thin single dimension. This would be a function of perception much as the laws of science perceive a black hole.

This concept would help us especially when dealing with vast dimensions of the universe. Conversely it would appear that a singularity would remain unreachable forever to us. The fold of space-time would forever keep it at an infinite distance from us. This is where linear thought would fail, and a literal quantum leap of faith must be taken.

Young Free & Single

2007-12-25T00:15:00.000-05:00

As the curtain draws close on the 'single'ness part of my life, I can't but feel amazed to see the number of books being written about being single. The title of this blog is the name of a song by BoneyM. At some point in time "Young Free and Single" was my favorite song for like years.

I was reading Paul Reisner's (The "Mad about you" guy) Couplehood. Its a really interesting book because of the way he describes the many aspects of being single. Think about this for a moment. It is difficult to explain it the way Paul does but I'll give it my best shot.

You are single. You come back home from the office, open you house door and enter an empty drawing room. There is nobody in the house. Then for the next few minutes you just keep staring blankly. You are not looking at something in particular.. just staring. Then you wake up from your stupor and go near a table... drop your keys, your badge and then stay there staring for some more time. Just staring. Thinking about nothing. Then you go into the restroom for a wash. You switch on the lights and you stare into the mirror. Blank stares. Again thinking about nothing in particular. You start a train of thought and then switch to something else and then give up on thinking itself. You are there for a while ...doing nothing. Then you realize you came into the rest room for some purpose and move on.

Let me tell you! If somebody is videotaping you!!!! they'd put you in an asylum.

Now think about another situation! if you have someone else with you in the house and if you dare so much as to continue with this habit of involuntary blank stares! You will get questions like " what is the problem ? Is there a problem. Did some thing happen at work?" The horrible part is you can never communicate that you are just being blank at that moment. This innocuous situation could easily blow up into " you are hiding something from me! tell me what it is?"

Now! Moms are different. They are used to these blank stares and stupid gawking postures that sons give out all the time. They have not spared our dads though!! Moms are smart enough to quickly put an end to such activities by their husbands. But they are generous enough to allow their sons to be weird. You stare blankly at a glass of water for a very long time. They dont care!! You take the remote control and keep staring at it without switching the TV ON! Not a problem!. They have gotten used to you smiling when nobody is around. They know you just remembered a joke from an old TV series or you were thinking about some stupid thing you said to some girl or about something that happened at school. But Wives are different they want to know "Why?". Your every action, every move ( or lack of it) should have a meaning. You have to answer questions like "what are your thinking of now ?" ( Pssst... learn from me.. Bipasha Basu is a wrong answer..it could end your life on the spot) Living in the same house they wanna know if you are really a human being or just a stuffed toy ( and bloody cruel joke by her mother-in-law)

I think people fundamentally wanna stay single. They are hurtling towards marriage and they are trying all they can to stop this great speed at which they going towards marriage. The put the breaks, throw their legs out and sort of screeeech stop themselves (like in a car).

You say:: my horoscope says distinctly that I could become mentally unstable by 35.
She says: Not a problem
You: I am raving maniac, I am a shoplifter, I scream loudly at 2:00 AM in the night.
She: No sweat! I'll take care of it!
You: What about compatibility. Thats an issue nowadays! Are you sure we are compatible? are you? are you?
She: yes! yes! yes!
You: I am a double agent. I work for the intelligence agency. I could go away anytime and never come back
She: ho...hum
You: I don't exactly brush in my restroom. I sort of go all around the house and clean stuff while I brush my teeth. Are you okay with that gurgling noise ?
She: It will be changed.

(then you try and stun her)

You: I pee in my bed.
She: (calling your bluff) I'll plug it!
You: Look at me!! when we go out together.. I shout at other people on the road, fight with people who don't switch off their cell phone in movie theaters. I am a bad person.
She: I don't care. I still want to marry you.!
You: (fall down in shock)
She: Picks you up and sends you to the dry cleaner.

So marriage is something that happens when you try and do all that you can to stop it! But she doesn't care! She doesn't care that you are a kleptomaniac, a double agent, a bedwetter, "monch monch" - loud eater. She is okay with everything. Can you believe that? Okay with everything. Its just like another you! but only better!

Then you take your legs of the brakes , stop the leg screeching and decide to hurtle away, if not anything else you hurtle much more faster. Marriage happens when you give up on trying to be single.